Wonders of the Waterpark
by PartiPooper
Summary: Kyle and Cartman go on a date to the waterpark on a rare hot and sunny day in their town. (Fluffy Kyman One-Shot; Rated T for profanities.)


It was a hot day, for their little mountain town, so naturally Cartman and Kyle decided to make use of the rare sunshine and lack of snow by going out for a date. For ages that morning they had bickered and squabbled about where to go and what to do. Kyle had suggested a picnic. Cartman had called that "gay and cliché" and had demanded to go to the waterpark. Kyle had declined, having had enough of waterparks and their pee-filled pools to last him a lifetime, and had tried to tantalise Cartman with the idea of a walk around town. Cartman was insistent on something water-based though, and had again demanded the waterpark.

After a good half an hour of fighting followed by an inconclusive arm-wrestle (Cartman had been gripping the edge of the table for support, Kyle had noted) and an undecided thumb-war (Cartman had used his wrist to angle his thumb over Kyle's, and they had argued another good few minutes about whether that was allowed), they had realised that daylight was burning, and thus had managed to meet an agreement that shut Cartman up.

"We're here!" Cartman announced happily as he pulled into the car park. Kyle did not react with as much enthusiasm, but instead remained leant against the passenger-side door with his forehead pressed against the window as he looked out at the sunny day and thought about the picnic or walk he could have been going on right at that moment. Instead, he was going to get soaked in pee.

"Oh, joy." said Kyle listlessly. His frown deepened and he was filled with trepidation and flooded with dark memories as he laid eyes on the entrance gate with _Pi Pi's Splashtown_ in big yellow letters on the blue frame resembling splashing waves of water. He thought that was misleading, and that the frame should have been yellow instead. Like pee. Like bananas. Like his nightmares.

"I know, right?" Cartman sighed contentedly, either oblivious to or uncaring for Kyle's sarcasm. He pulled up into an empty parking space and stifled the engine. "I just hope there aren't too many minorities here today."

Kyle turned away from the window to fix Cartman with a displeased look. "Quit being such a racist bastard."

Cartman scoffed and waved his hand dismissively. "Whatever, you quit being such a germaphobe first." Kyle gaped in disbelief at him as he pulled the keys out of the ignition and opened his door to step out of the car. Kyle followed him out, slamming the door behind him.

"I'm not a germaphobe!" he cried, rounding the truck to meet Cartman at the back, "Peeing in the pool is gross and unsanitary, and trying to maintain decent hygiene doesn't make me a germaphobe!"

"Well I don't see anyone else complaining." said Cartman, pulling their baggage out of the back of his truck, "It's only you with sand in your vagina. Don't worry, Kyle, the water in the park will flush that sand right out." he reached out and patted Kyle consolingly, "Your vagina won't itch anymore."

Kyle growled threateningly and then yelled, "There's no sand in my vagina!" Afterwards, he became aware of the other people around them in the car park. He looked around to see couples staring at him like he was weird, and parents hurriedly ushering their children away from the crazy redhead. He felt his cheeks heat up, and ducked his head and hunched his shoulders, embarrassed to have created a scene.

"With a temper like that? Sure there isn't." said Cartman. Kyle looked up to stare daggers at Cartman, but then found his vision obscured by a floppy straw sun hat being slapped onto his head. He huffed and lifted the brim flopping over his eyes to stop it obscuring his vision, and pouted at the way Cartman smiled at him. "Lighten up, Jew." Cartman grabbed Kyle by the shoulder and jostled him into a half-hug, "You're at the waterpark!"

"Oh, joy." Kyle repeated. Again, Cartman was oblivious or uncaring.

"That's the spirit!" he said as he swiped Kyle's nose playfully. Kyle sighed, because he was too hot and tired to fight, and he had already lost and they were already at the waterpark so there was no point fighting anymore anyway, and he allowed Cartman to push him forward to the entrance gate of the waterpark. Or pee-park, Kyle thought suited it better. Nice alliteration. And honesty.

Inside the park, Kyle was happy to see that many, many minorities were wandering around, plenty of them wearing shirts in the pool. He was glad that Cartman was going to feel as miserable as him during their date.

"God damn it!" Cartman seethed and stamped his foot petulantly, "Where the fuck do they keep coming from?!" Kyle just shrugged and smiled at Cartman's anger. Cartman scoffed. "Whatever, let's just find somewhere with a low density of minorities." Kyle allowed Cartman to grab his hand and pull him away in search of a less crowded part of the park. He was all for it, for where there were less people, there would be less pee.

He fell into step beside the brunet and raised a hand to the brim of his hat to stop it flopping in front of his face. It was kind of annoying, wearing it, but he had pale and sensitive skin and burned easily, so he needed the protection. He faltered though as he realised that Cartman had been the one to place the hat on his head, to protect him. He felt his face warm and chanced a sideways glance at Cartman, but he was too busy scanning the pools for minorities to notice.

"Ah," he exclaimed suddenly, "this'll do!" He pulled Kyle towards a pool that was practically empty. Nobody at the park was bothered with it because it was just an ordinary pool, with no fountains or waves or climbing frames or slides, so there were plenty of pool chairs around the outside that were unclaimed.

Cartman threw their baggage down beside one and fell back onto it with a relaxed sigh, throwing his arms behind his head. Kyle settled down in the one beside him, and took his hat off so as to pull his t-shirt over his head. As he did he heard Cartman wolf-whistle, and made sure to glare at him unappreciatively. Cartman just grinned toothily back at him, his eyes looking him up and down.

"Not bad." he said, "I wonder what lucky guy is banging _that_ hot piece of ass." Kyle rolled his eyes, not in the mood for Cartman's games, and bent down to rummage around in the bag. "Oh, wait," Cartman continued as Kyle pulled out a bottle of sunscreen, "that would be me. Score."

"Shut up." said Kyle as he opened the bottle. He poured some of the lotion out onto his hands, and then rubbed it up and down his arms and over his shoulders, down to his chest and stomach. He adamantly paid no attention to the way Cartman was leering at him as he squirted more lotion out and rubbed it along the length of his legs. He squeezed more out, and then tried to reach behind him, but couldn't quite cover all of his back.

Cartman chuckled at Kyle's struggling and got up from his chair. "Here," he said, picking up the bottle and squeezing some lotion into his hands, rubbing it in, "I've got you." Kyle gratefully took the offer and laid down across the pool lounger on his stomach, nestling his head into his folded arms.

Cartman began to rub the lotion into his back, and Kyle sighed blissfully. Cartman had magic hands, large, soft, gentle, and sure in their movements, and he gladly took any opportunity he could to receive a massage from them. He hummed happily as Cartman's hands kneaded him from his shoulder blades to the nape of his neck, the tips of his fingers digging in there and targeting the tension. "Thank you, Cartman."

Kyle felt as Cartman leant down over him, his breath tickling the shell of his ear. "My pleasure." he whispered, his lips brushing along the back of his neck. Kyle shuddered. Cartman felt good. But all too soon Kyle's back was covered and Cartman's hands were gone and it was all over. Kyle frowned as he lifted himself up and turned to see Cartman taking off his t-shirt too. His frown quickly disappeared though, since seeing Cartman's naked torso wasn't something he could be sad about.

Cartman was no longer disgustingly obese. He had grown into his weight, and though he still wasn't skinny, he wasn't unattractive either. He was big and tall and strong, had some muscle to him, and his chubbiness made him all the more cuddly, though Kyle would never admit all that to the brunet's face.

Cartman discarded his t-shirt on his chair, and then smirked when he saw Kyle looking at him from the corner of his eye. "Like what you see?" he asked.

Kyle's cheeks burned for a reason that wasn't the summer sun's fault, and he quickly looked away and pulled his hat back onto his head to hide his flushed face. "No!" he said, too fast and loud for it not to be a lie. He ignored Cartman's knowing chuckles and dove into the bag again, pulling out a book. Cartman groaned upon seeing the cover of it.

"Seriously, Kyle? _Of Mice and Men_? Isn't that the book for our literature essay? _Please_ don't tell me you're doing homework on a day out!"

Kyle shrugged and laid back on the lounger, opening the book and starting from where he had left off. "Why not? It's nice to read in the sun, so I might as well read our homework book."

Cartman groaned again, exasperated. "Whatever," he said, "be a nerd, if you must. Meanwhile, I'll be in the pool." Kyle didn't pull his eyes away from the words on the page as he raised a hand to shoo Cartman away with. Kyle heard him pad away across the damp concrete floor, and then there was a pause of silence before he heard the splash of Cartman cannon-balling into the water and felt the droplets of it splashing onto his crossed feet.

"Hey, Kyle!" Cartman called out, and Kyle looked up from his book momentarily to see him beaming giddily at him, "Did you see that awesome cannon-ball?!"

"Yeah." Kyle lied, returning to his book. Cartman seemed content with that, as he swam away without further pestering.

For twenty-seven pages Cartman swam widths and lengths alone and Kyle read in peace, but twenty-eight pages in Cartman returned and started up whining. "Kyle," he said, drawling out his name saccharinely sweet, and Kyle knew from the tone that he was vying to get something he wanted, "are you done reading yet?"

Kyle sighed wearily. He hadn't gotten very far into the book at all, but it was true that he hadn't paid to get into a waterpark just to read a book in it when he could have done that for free at home. Also, he knew that Cartman was going to pester him for quite a long time to get what he wanted, and if he didn't win Kyle's attention then he would throw a childish strop and be a pain to deal with, more so than usual. Kyle didn't want to deal with that, so he closed the book.

It was rather cute, the excited grin that grew on Cartman's face when he saw Kyle getting up from the lounger and dropping the book onto it in his place, along with his hat. "Hooray!" he cheered as Kyle sat down on the edge of the pool and then slid himself into the water. Before Kyle could even adjust to the cool temperature of the water, Cartman surged at him and pulled him into a wet hug.

It felt nice, Kyle thought, to be missed. Especially when they hadn't technically left each other, having only been a few feet away the whole time, and when it had only been for a few minutes. He smiled and patted Cartman's arm. The droplets clinging to the brunet's hair dripped onto him and tickled as they ran down his neck and along his back. They were cold too, and Kyle decided he wanted to swim around and get used to the temperature.

He tried to pull away from Cartman, but when he did the brunet clung tighter. Kyle huffed irately at his foiled plans and patted his arm again, harder. "You can let go now." he said. Cartman didn't. Instead, Cartman wormed an arm under the bend of Kyle's knees and lifted his feet from the bottom of the pool floor to cradle him to his chest. "You can let go now." Kyle repeated, recoiling from Cartman and shoving his face away with the palm of his hand. Cartman licked his hand, and Kyle immediately withdrew it, clutching it to his chest, wrinkling his nose up in disgust. "Ew! Gross, Cartman!"

"Germaphobe." Cartman tittered, and then turned to walk deeper into the pool, wading through the water with Kyle in his arms. Kyle let him, but attempted to wipe Cartman's saliva off onto the brunet's chest.

"You're disgusting." said Kyle.

"Thank you. It is an art I have perfected over the years." With a mischievous glint in his eye, Cartman bowed down, causing Kyle in his arms to be dunked into the water. When Cartman rose back up, Kyle came up gasping and spluttering and dripping wet.

"Cartman!" he cried, half-exasperated, half-amused.

"What's that?" said Cartman, looking all around as though the voice had come from elsewhere, "I think someone's calling me." He spun round and round on the spot, kicking up waves with Kyle's legs and sending water splashing everywhere. Kyle clung onto his neck and laughed. He was still beaming when Cartman finally stopped and looked down at him, wearing a face like he had never seen Kyle before. "Oh," he said, "was that you?"

Kyle laughed good-naturedly and splashed some water up into Cartman's face. "You're such an idiot."

"But I'm hot though, right?" Kyle hummed thoughtfully and pretended to have to think about it, so Cartman dunked him again. Kyle resurfaced laughing and spluttering. "But I'm hot though, right?" Cartman repeated. Again Kyle did not answer immediately, so again he was dunked. "But I'm hot though, right?" Cartman asked when he brought Kyle up for the third time.

"Well, either I'm getting light-headed from the lack of oxygen or you're actually looking hot." Kyle smirked. Cartman chortled and leant down to press his lips to Kyle's.

"I think it's the second one." he said when they parted.

"I think it's the first one." Kyle replied. Cartman responded by dunking him under the water once more. When Kyle was brought up from it again he spat water out of his mouth before saying, "On second thought, you're right. It's the second one."

"I know." said Cartman, and pressed forward to meet Kyle's lips again. The kiss was cool, their lips wet. It was new, kissing in water, and exciting too. Kyle liked how it felt. He knew Cartman felt the same about it, because the brunet made no move to break it for quite some time. When he finally did, he was smiling, in that honest and genuine way Kyle liked.

Cartman walked around the perimeter of the pool for a little longer afterwards with Kyle in his arms clinging to his neck, rocking him to and fro as he waded, in an almost one-sided swaying aquatic dance. But eventually he grew bored of that, as Cartman tended to do with most things, and dropped Kyle unceremoniously into the deep end of the pool, hooting with laughter as Kyle swam back to the surface feeling betrayed. The redhead got his own back though, by splashing Cartman in the face, and so they ended up chasing each other around the pool and trying to splash one another.

That went on for a long while, and it was fun, but then Cartman's stomach started rumbling, and Kyle began feeling a bit peckish too, so they got out of the pool (Cartman after one attempt, and Kyle after two attempts since Cartman had pushed him back in during his first) and went to the nearby Snack Shack. Kyle had a plate of chips, and Cartman had the largest hot-dog the two of them had ever seen.

"Look, it's as long as my forearm!" he exclaimed, holding his limb against the meat for comparison.

"Huh. So it is." said Kyle, spearing a chip on the end of his fork and dipping it into a dollop of ketchup. He looked past Cartman and his gargantuan lunch, observing the hustle and bustle of the rest of the park. He could hear people screaming as they shot down the tunnel slides, cheering as they slid down the mat slides, and chattering as they floated down the lazy river. He felt a sudden want to join them. "Want to go to another part of the park?"

Cartman turned up his nose at the idea. "But minorities."

Kyle shrugged and shoved the chip into his mouth. "If you don't want to, that's fine, but I'm going to. I want to get my money's worth."

Cartman snickered. "You're such a Jew." Kyle didn't retort, because Cartman's statement hadn't exactly been wrong, and also because nothing Kyle said would convince him to not be anti-Semitic, for Cartman stubbornly refused to think a certain way if he hadn't done so of his own volition.

After lunch though, Cartman did join Kyle, because he hated the thought of playing alone in the waterpark. They packed their stuff up and stored it in a locker, and Kyle took up Cartman's hand in his, for guidance and support as he led him through the coloured crowd. He took him to the lazy river first, because he didn't want to do anything too thrilling on a freshly full stomach.

They joined the queue and Kyle only half-listened as Cartman complained the whole time about how he hated waiting in line and how everything would be going faster if those damned minorities weren't there. There were plenty of rubber rings to go around though, so it wasn't long before Kyle and Cartman were at the front of the line seizing a couple of them for themselves.

Kyle slid back into his easily and settled down for the ride, and he burst with laughter as he watched Cartman try and fail multiple times to back up onto the ring as Kyle had, falling off it each and every time. In the end he just laid across it on his stomach.

"What's the matter?" Kyle teased, "Is your ass too fat to fit in the ring?"

"Kyle, I swear to God, I will kill you if you don't shut up." Cartman huffed irately, but he calmed down after a few circles of the lazy river. Before long he was grinning again as he grabbed the handle of Kyle's ring and used it to spin the redhead round in slow, gentle circles. Kyle giggled as he spun, happy and relaxed. He even forgot all about pee in that moment.

"So Kyle," said Cartman, his face triumphant, "it wasn't so bad coming to the waterpark after all, was it?"

"Yeah, yeah." Kyle replied dismissively. He hated being wrong, and having to admit his wrongness to Cartman of all people.

Cartman let out a relaxed sigh as he sent Kyle's ring spinning again. "This is the life."

"Yeah." Kyle agreed, nodding and closing his eyes against the bright sunshine. Cartman was so relaxed, Kyle realised that he must have forgotten that he was surrounded by minorities.

It went dark behind his eyelids all of a sudden, and Kyle opened his eyes to find that they were going under the little rocky cavern for the dozenth time. In the middle of the cavern, water fell in an aquatic curtain from the rocks above, and Kyle closed his eyes once more and shivered as he felt the cold stream pelting his bare skin and pattering loudly against his rubber ring.

Everything was so peaceful and gentle and languid, and the chorus of chattering voices around him meshed together into one long, loud drone. It didn't feel like he was in a busy, crowded water park. It felt like he was adrift on a real river out in the middle of nowhere, with just Cartman by his side. He had never imagined it could be so, but it felt nice like that, just the two of them alone together. He kept his eyes closed, so as not to ruin the illusion.

"Cartman?" he asked. Cartman hummed to show that he was listening. "Are you happy?"

"I'm at the waterpark." he replied, and Kyle could practically hear the amused smile in his voice, "Of course I'm happy."

"No." Kyle shook his head. "I mean are you happy with life in general?"

Cartman paused. "Getting deep on the lazy river?" he finally chortled.

Kyle shrugged. "What better place to get deep?"

"True." Cartman replied. Kyle felt himself stop spinning and registered a weight on his ring, and knew without needing to look that Cartman was gripping his handle and floating connected to him like that. "Yeah," Cartman finally answered, "life's pretty cool, I guess."

"Why's that?" Kyle asked, genuinely intrigued. They seldom had the occasion to talk so seriously, after all. Also, he was curious about Cartman's answer when it just felt like he complained about his life most of the time, claiming it fucked him without so much as a courtesy lick.

"I don't know. It just is. Maybe life just can't help being so cool for someone as cool as me."

Kyle laughed shortly, because that answer had been so Cartman that he was surprised he hadn't expected it. "Yeah, right. You think you're such hot shit."

"I do." said Cartman, "Obviously, you do too. Otherwise, you wouldn't be dating me."

Kyle grinned. "Nah. I just feel sorry for you is all."

Cartman chuckled. "Sure, Jew, whatever you say." For a few moments they returned to silence as they floated along, but when that was broken it was done so by Cartman. "What about you, Kyle?" Kyle hummed inquisitively, urging him to expand on his query. "Are you happy?"

Kyle considered his answer carefully. He wasn't particularly rich, nor particularly attractive, nor particularly popular or impressive. He had rotten luck and got sick far too often. But, at the same time, he had enough wealth to afford what he needed, he wasn't despairingly ugly, and he had always been considered one of the smartest, nicest people in his class. He was surrounded by friends and family who loved him for who he was, in spite of who he was. For that, he considered himself lucky.

"Yeah." he said, "I think I am."

"We're talking about in general, right?" Cartman clarified, "Not just right here right now?"

Kyle laughed. "Yeah, we're talking in general. I'm happy. My life isn't perfect, but it's pretty good."

"Because I'm in your life, right?"

Kyle laughed again. "You're part of it, I guess."

Cartman scoffed. "Part of it? I'm the whole package!"

"Ah, yes," Kyle smirked, "how could I live without your arrogance?"

"Ay!" Cartman cried out, offended. Kyle just laughed, and Cartman joined in shortly, unable to remain affronted for too long. They floated in silence after that for a few more minutes, just enjoying the lull of the water pulling them along, occasionally bumping into other rubber rings, but eventually, as usual, Cartman grew bored. "Hey, we should go on some slides." he said.

Kyle finally opened his eyes and blinked against the blinding sun. He thought about it for a moment, and then nodded in consent. Nobody peed on the slides. "Yeah," he agreed, "the mat slide looks pretty fun."

He turned his head to look at Cartman and saw that he had that mischievous glint in his eyes again. "Race you down it." he said.

Kyle bristled at the notion of a competition. Many things had changed over the years, but his determination to win against Cartman and feel the satisfaction of victory was not one of those things. Smirking confidently, he consented to the challenge.

"You're on."

They dismounted their rings at the entrance to the lazy river, wading to the steps to give them to the next people waiting in line before getting out of the water, dripping all over the sun-hot concrete burning the soles of their feet. Neither looked at nor spoke to each other as they marched to the mat slide, each unwilling to act friendly with their foe. It was on.

Even while waiting in the queue to receive a mat, nothing was said and no looks were shared. Cartman didn't make a single complaint about anything, and Kyle stared resolutely at the slide, sizing it up. He felt confident that he could win. He was small and lithe, therefore more likely to slide quickly and less likely to get stuck. He felt victorious already.

Once they had each been given a mat they walked up the slope to the top of the slide with purpose, their steps unwavering, their eyes ablaze. When they reached the top they claimed a couple of empty slides side-by-side and readied themselves on their mats, awaiting the whistle. "Ready to lose, Kyle?" asked Cartman.

"I don't know." said Kyle, turning his head to look pointedly at Cartman. "_Are_ you?" Cartman laughed as though Kyle had said something absurd.

"Just you wait, Jew."

When all the slides were full, all heads turned to the lifeguard at the bottom. Kyle tensed his shoulders and gripped the front of his mat tightly, readying his toes for the push-off like a predator preparing to pounce. Kyle's heart hammered as he saw the lifeguard raise the starting whistle to his lips, and he felt the adrenaline begin to pump around his system. He could smell victory. Either that or chlorine.

_PEEP!_

Kyle pushed-off almost the millisecond the whistle was blown. He felt the rush of the wind as he sped down the slide, the running water of it spraying in his wake. He felt alive as the bottom of the slide rushed to meet him. And then he faltered as a blur shot past him.

"See you at the bottom, Jew!" Cartman called out behind him as he overtook Kyle.

Kyle gaped after him in a state of disbelief and shock. "No!" he shouted, as though his words would hinder Cartman, "No!" He watched as Cartman splashed into the pool at the bottom first, and then he fell in after him, just a few seconds too late to not feel like an awful loser.

"Well, Kyle," said Cartman smugly once they had resurfaced and were heading up the steps to give their mats to the people waiting in line, "it looks like I won." Kyle huffed in response. He would never admit it, but he was a bit of a sore loser.

"Whatever." he said, crossing his arms over his chest once he had handed his mat over, "You only won because the weight of your fat dragged you down."

"Actually it was a mix between technique, angling, and the weight of my coolness." said Cartman, slapping Kyle on the back good-naturedly, "Cheer up, Kyle. You were never going to win." Kyle huffed again, louder, and turned his back on Cartman. The brunet just chortled, and wound his arm around Kyle's waist to pull him in closer and land a kiss on his cheek. He laughed again, in the obnoxious way that was loud enough to draw the attention of several passers-by, when Kyle only turned red and swatted him away with the back of his hand.

"You're such an ass." said Kyle spitefully.

"I love you too, babe." Cartman winked, pulling Kyle's hand out of his crossed-armed stance and taking it up in his own to pull him away, "Now quit being sore. Your ass is like that enough after I pound it."

"Cartman!" Kyle cried, afraid of their sexual exploits being loudly announced to the whole entire waterpark. But he went with him anyway, hoping that another park attraction would make both him and Cartman forget his loss.

They walked along a whole section of varying pools, passing sunbathers in lounge chairs and dodging children running around their feet. Kyle looked at the pools as they went by them, finding that the water looked cool and blue and overall so inviting.

"They have a cool tunnel slide here." said Cartman enthusiastically, stirring Kyle out of his urges to dive into each and every pool, "It's pitch-black inside, and has some wicked loops."

"Are we going there then?"

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Yeah, where else would we be-?"

He was cut off by the whine of a loud siren starting up suddenly nearby. Kyle creased his brow and looked around in wonder, curious as to whether there was a police car or ambulance in the park, worrying about why it was there if it was. Meanwhile, Cartman looked fixedly at one of the nearer pools packed to the brim with excited-looking people.

"Oh my God." he murmured, and slowly started walking towards it with a confused Kyle in tow. "Oh my God!" he yelled, breaking into a run.

"What?!" Kyle yelled back, his brow creasing further as his worry grew, "What's happening?!"

"It's starting!" Cartman replied, "Right this minute!"

Kyle raised his brow, still not following. "What is?"

"The wave pool!" Cartman bellowed, running down the slope into the packed pool. Kyle shaped an 'o' with his mouth as he understood. The sirens weren't from a police car or ambulance – it was signalling the start of the hourly waves. He immediately felt the worry leave him, and found himself giggling as he was dragged by a childishly ecstatic Cartman further into the pool.

"So I guess we're not going to the wicked cool tunnel slide?" he said over the chatter of the crowd.

"Later!" Cartman replied. He pulled Kyle right to the front, pushing through the gaps in the crowd, Kyle trailing after, allowing the brunet to part the way for him with his largeness. At the front Cartman finally dropped Kyle's hand, in favour of spreading his arms out wide as if he was at the bow of a ship. Kyle couldn't help but smile at the sight.

Finally the siren ended, and there was a chorus of whoops and cheers as the waves started, pushing everybody back with their force. Kyle lifted his feet from the floor to swim against the flow, and he felt like he was fighting his way through a stormy sea. It was more fun than he had expected.

"Yes!" Cartman shouted as waves barrelled into him, "Yes!" Kyle was impressed at how he managed to stand his own against the push of the waves – like a jutting rock in a stormy sea. It reminded him how strong Cartman really was, no matter how much he still wailed for his mother whenever Kyle so much as tapped him too hard. That hadn't happened in a while though – they didn't fight so much anymore.

They _did_ still fight over the silliest and most trivial of things, and disagreed like they were born to do just that, and argued vehemently at the drop of a hat, but they had both just matured a little more since elementary school and were more prone to drop a matter than debate it. Or that was what Kyle thought anyway. Meanwhile, Kenny liked to waggle his eyebrows suggestively at them and say that they had finally released all their sexual tension. Sometimes Kyle found that explanation plausible too.

Alas, all good things came to an end, and so, after a few minutes, so did the wave pool. There was a unanimous sad crying out and murmuring throughout the pool, most predominately from Cartman thought Kyle, but there wasn't going to be an encore for at least another hour, so the majority filed out while others remained to swim.

"That was fun." said Kyle as he swam to the shallow entrance of the pool. Cartman walked beside him, shoulders slouched, still distraught that the waves had ended so soon. A faint smile quirked his lips at Kyle's positivity though.

"Yeah." he agreed. Then an idea went off in his head – Kyle could see it in the shine of his eyes – and he perked up and asked, "Slide now?"

Kyle nodded, returning the smile. "Slide now."

"Hooray!" Cartman cheered, throwing his hands up in victory. Kyle snickered at him, and followed him up the slope and out of the pool.

They walked to the tunnel slide, daunting in its height and its darkness and the screams issuing from the mouth of it, and joined the queue for the double-seated floats. Cartman had insisted that they ride down together as it would be more "romantic". Kyle thought that Cartman seriously needed to review the definition of that word in the dictionary when they went home, but otherwise he agreed that riding together would be more fun than riding alone.

They got their float and started to make their way up the tall slope to the top of the slide. It was so high it was almost as though they were climbing a mountain. By the time they reached the top Cartman was red-faced and panting and Kyle had to stop and let him fall forward to brace his hands on his knees and catch his breath back.

"You're so fat." he said with disgust. Cartman responded by holding his middle finger up in Kyle's direction.

When Cartman had finally inhaled enough oxygen to carry on they continued to the queue for the slide. It was a long line since the slide was so popular. Kyle absently wondered why so many people loved to seek out scary things.

Despite the length of the line, Cartman did not complain. Instead he looked out across the amazing view they had of the waterpark. "Look, Kyle," he said, wrapping an arm around Kyle's shoulders and pulling him in to where he could rest his cheek on the crown of his red, curly head, "isn't this so romantic?"

Kyle shrugged, unwilling to agree with him so as not to lie, but not wanting to disagree with him for fear of upsetting him. "It's nice."

"No, Kyle." Cartman frowned, pulling away to fix him with a warning stare, "You're meant to say it's beautiful."

Kyle raised his brow, but he complied all the same, curious to see where doing so would get him. "It's beautiful." he said with another dismissive shrug, an unsure expression etched to his face as he didn't know why the adjective he used mattered. All became clear though when Cartman smiled charmingly and tilted Kyle's head up with two fingers.

"Not as beautiful as you, Kyle."

Kyle groaned, jerking his head out of Cartman's grasp and batting his fingers away with a roll of his eyes. "That is so out of date."

Cartman pouted. "Just because something is old doesn't mean it's bad." That much was true, so Kyle didn't disagree, but he also didn't fall to Cartman's over-used lines. Cartman was constantly doing stuff like that. He seemed to think it was necessary in their relationship to do such things as turn up on Kyle's doorstep on Valentine's Day with a bouquet of roses under one arm, a swarm of balloons under the other, an A3-size card in one hand and a heart-shaped box of chocolates in the other. It was ridiculous.

And yet, Kyle liked it. When Cartman had turned up like that he had burst out laughing and hadn't been able to stop for a good five minutes. It was nice knowing that, clueless as he was about relationships and what Kyle would actually like, he was trying. It was even better that he wasn't motivated in his words or actions by money, or food, or the humiliation and misery of others, but just by a want for Kyle, and his happiness. Soppy and vomit-inducing as it might have been, Kyle liked a Cartman like that.

But not all the time. He could only deal with hearing so much romantic poetry shouted up to his bedroom window at midnight. Cartman seriously needed to realise that he already had Kyle and he could stop trying to woo him already.

The queue continued to move slowly, and Kyle looked down and thought about how everybody playing in the park looked like ants from where he was standing, up until they reached the pool that led into the mouth of the slide. They stepped into the pool and Kyle shivered at the sting of the cold water. He peered into the slide and felt as though he was looking into a pitch-black cave. Admittedly, he was scared. He didn't like being blinded. He tried to calm himself by instead turning his attention to Cartman, readying their float in the pool. He watched as the brunet straddled the float before plonking down into the seat at the back. He looked up expectantly at Kyle.

"Come on, Jew. You aren't pussying out, are you?"

Kyle frowned at the assumption of his cowardice. "No!" he said, and he slid himself into the seat in front of Cartman in-between his legs. Cartman laughed behind him as though he knew how fearful Kyle was beginning to feel.

They sat there for what felt like forever, and every second heightened the urge Kyle felt to leap out of the float and away from the slide and go back to the lounge chairs or the lazy river or the wave pool or just something else that felt less like a ride to his death. But he fought that urge with the knowledge that if he did chicken out then Cartman would mock him for it for the rest of the day and continue mocking him for the rest of the week, and would tell everyone in the town about it so that they too could make fun of him.

Kyle much preferred the risk of blind death to _that_.

"Okay, you can go!" said the lifeguard manning the slide, and Kyle bit down on his lip to stifle a cry of fear as Cartman pushed them off, out of the pool and into the slide.

"Yes!" Cartman yelled in the slide's throat. Kyle didn't open his mouth because otherwise he would have let out a banshee scream. The slide was fast, and the twists and turns of it sent the float sloshing around haphazardly inside the tunnel. It was so dark that Kyle couldn't see his legs propped on the front of the float before him, and in an unconscious moment of fear he gripped the legs of Cartman beside him. "Ow! Kyle!" Cartman yelled as the redhead dug his nails into his skin.

Kyle wanted to apologise, but he couldn't remember how words happened. All he could feel, building up in the bottom of his gut, was an ear-shattering scream. He ground his teeth together to keep it from bursting forth.

Kyle began to wonder whether the slide was ever going to end. It was going so fast, and yet taking so long to reach the bottom. It was almost as though they were going to keep on sliding into oblivion forevermore, with no way to stop or turn back, stuck forever in an endless pitch-black loop of fear. But his panic was quelled when he finally saw a light at the end of the tunnel.

_SPLASH!_

They returned to the reality of the waterpark in a spray of water, slowing along a long stretch of slide opened to the broad-daylight that Kyle had missed. Cartman was laughing and whooping behind him, as he had been doing throughout the duration of the ride. Kyle was digging his claws into Cartman like a startled, drowned cat, his curls drenched and falling over his wide eyes, his teeth glued together by a determination not to scream.

Still laughing, Cartman pried Kyle's hands off of his legs. There were red circular marks and crescent dents where his fingertips and nails had dug. "You okay, Kyle?" he asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. Kyle wasn't, but he didn't want Cartman to know that, so he shakily nodded his head. "You sure?"

Kyle finally pulled his teeth apart, his scream no longer threatening to make an appearance, long-dead in his throat. "Peachy." he said, "Shall we go again?"

Cartman snorted and shook his head. "I don't think so. Come on. Let's get you out of here." He stood up and stepped out of the slide. Kyle tried to follow, but his legs were so shaky and unstable that he fell back down as soon as he tried to haul himself up. "Whoa!" Cartman exclaimed, followed by a short burst of laughter, reaching out to support him by the shoulders. He was loving every amusing minute of a petrified Kyle.

"I slipped on the slide." said Kyle.

"Sure you did." said Cartman, "Come on, Jew, up you get." He grunted as he pulled Kyle up by the shoulders, and when he was on his feet he kept a steadying hand in his as Kyle stepped out of the slide, wobbling like a new-born fawn.

Cartman pulled Kyle's arm up to wrap it around his shoulder and hold him up, and then reached down to pick up their float from the slide. He took it to the float-dealing lifeguard, and then continued with Kyle to somewhere far-away from the tunnel slide. "You need to throw up?" he asked. Kyle shook his head. "You want to eat?" Kyle grimaced and shook his head more vigorously.

"Anything but that." he groaned. He decided to stop trying to pretend he hadn't been scared of that slide, since it was obvious Cartman had realised that already. He just felt relieved that Cartman hadn't started mocking him yet.

"Alright," said Cartman laughingly, "not that. You want to go on the lazy river?"

Kyle didn't need to think too long about it. Before long they were back on the lazy river, Kyle imitating the belly-flop position on the ring that Cartman had taken earlier, moaning and groaning face-down over the water. Cartman floated beside him, laughing as he rubbed his back comfortingly. It would have been nice of him had he not been so obviously entertained by Kyle's misery.

"You should have seen your face, Kyle." he said with a grin, "You were pale as fuck. Ha!"

"Fuck you." Kyle replied weakly.

It took a good half hour floating round and round on the lazy river, but eventually Kyle climbed down from his miserable, petrified, sickly state to something more calm and less likely to vomit if shaken too hard. But he didn't want to experience that feeling for a second time that day, so he told Cartman that he just wanted to walk around the waterpark and see all the pools. Cartman, in one of his more rare sympathetic and selfless moments, allowed him to, and accompanied him.

They walked hand-in-hand to the centre of the park – the main domain of the variety of pools – and Kyle listened with a frown as Cartman continued to recount how incredibly funny Kyle had looked after the slide and how he couldn't wait to tell Stan and Kenny and the other guys from school about it. Then Cartman cried out in pain as Kyle trod on his foot, and Kyle pretended it was an accident and tried to act like he was sorry, though he was grinning far too wide to be convincing.

After a few minutes of walking Cartman spotted a pool that interested him, primarily for the fact that it was a garden of fountains, and Kyle went with him into it because he thought it looked quite fun too. The spray of the water was cold and constant, and Kyle felt like he was standing out in the rain. He turned to look at Cartman, and snorted at the sight of him with his arms spread wide and his face up towards the sky, sticking his tongue out to catch the droplets.

"You're meant to do that with snowflakes." he told him as he approached him. Cartman turned his head down to the side to grin at him. Then Kyle was crying out, startled, as Cartman lunged for him and pulled him up into his arms to spin him round and round in circles under the fountains' spray. "Cartman!" Kyle tried to sound annoyed but ended up sounding anything but, "Put me down!"

"_I'm singing in the rain! Just singing in the rain!_" Cartman sang, pointedly ignoring the redhead's protests, and Kyle groaned and covered his face with his hands in embarrassment, "_What a glorious feeling! I'm happy again!_"

"Oh my God, don't!" Kyle begged, clasping his hands together in a pleading gesture.

"_I'm laughing at clouds, so dark up above!_" Cartman continued, "_The sun's in my heart,_" He looked down at Kyle and the smaller teen's cheeks pinked as he delivered the following lyrics with a meaningful wink, "_and I'm ready for love._"

Though his heart faltered, Kyle plastered a displeased expression onto his face. "You're disgusting."

Cartman hummed and leant in till their noses were touching. "No use lying to me, Kyle. I know how wonderful I am."

"Wow," Kyle deadpanned, throwing his arms around Cartman's neck, "you're charming the pants off of me. How does anybody resist you?"

Cartman chuckled. "You don't." he said before kissing him, slow and deep.

Kyle was reluctant at first, conscious of the fact that they were in a public pool in a crowded water park surrounded by playing children, tainting everyone's innocence with their indecent display. But the addictive mould of Cartman's warm lips to his soon made him forget about all that, and he closed his eyes and melted into the kiss with a satisfied hum.

Not even the sting of the cold fountain water pelting down onto his bare skin distracted Kyle from the kiss. Everything he felt was the intoxicating brush of Cartman's lips, the maddening nip of his teeth, the languid yet lewd slide of his tongue, the ticklish sensation of his hot breath and quiet moans. It was and always had been one of the greatest feelings he had ever experienced, awakening each and every one of his senses and making him feel alive.

Cartman gripped tighter his shoulder and the bend of his knees, and Kyle used his hold around his neck to pull Cartman closer, pressing their chests flush against each other. He felt safe and impervious to the world in Cartman's thick, strong arms. He felt happy, happier than he could have ever imagined was possible, his stomach churning with a fluttering of butterflies, his cheeks heating with a rush of blood, his heart jumping wildly with excitement in his chest. He felt the hammer of Cartman's heart and knew he felt the same.

All too soon it came to an end, the moment broken by unanimous retching sounds from the mouths of a few on-looking children. Kyle recoiled from Cartman, his cheeks red for a new reason. Cartman, meanwhile, turned his head to shoot the children an irate glare. "Fuck off." he said venomously. The children didn't need telling twice, scampering away through the forest of the silver fountain poles without further ado, water splashing in their wake.

Kyle gaped in disbelief at Cartman. "You can't say fuck to kids, you fucking fat ass!" he scolded.

"Well why the fuck not? It doesn't hurt 'em." said Cartman. Kyle tried to explain common decency to Cartman, but his efforts were fruitless, so in the end he just pulled on his ear and hoped that would be lesson enough.

Their kiss wasn't the only good thing that came to an end. It was getting late, and Kyle had promised to be back home for dinner. "We need to get going now." he told Cartman as they left the pool.

"Aw, really?" Cartman whined. Kyle laughed at how much he sounded like a child. No matter how much he grew and changed and matured, he would still always be the same petulant Eric Theodore Cartman.

"Yeah," Kyle nodded, "if I'm not back for dinner then my mom's going to throw a fit."

"Your mom's such a bitch." huffed Cartman.

Kyle sent him a side-long glare. It wasn't so much that what Cartman had said was _wrong_, because Kyle's mom was indeed loud and domineering and could overall just be rounded out as a bitch and left at that, but Kyle hated that when he knew his mom only ever did what she thought was right. "Don't call my mom a bitch, fat ass!" he exclaimed, jabbing a warning finger at him.

Cartman scoffed and waved a dismissive hand, but didn't say anything more on the matter. Kyle could see him dying to sing _Kyle's Mom is a Big Fat Bitch_ though, so he was appreciative that he resisted the temptation. Cartman was seldom so considerate.

They returned to the locker and fetched their stuff. They dried themselves off with their towels and put their t-shirts back on, and Cartman slapped Kyle's hat back onto his head with a grin that Kyle could only describe as affectionate. Side-by-side, hand-in-hand, they made their way out of the waterpark and back to Cartman's beaten-up, second-hand truck in the parking lot.

Lethargy began to creep up on Kyle as they got in the truck and Cartman started the engine, and he rested his forehead against the window and watched the world go by in an incomprehensible blur with drooping eyes. Cartman put on some 90s music, but the sound of it faded to Kyle along with everything else, and just a few minutes down the road he fell completely asleep.

When he was awoken, it was by a large hand shaking his shoulder. "Kyle, wake up. We're home."

Kyle groaned and stretched out. Something slid off of him, and he opened his bleary eyes to see that it was a thick woollen blanket: the one that Cartman kept in the back seat of his truck at all times. Before Kyle had time to wonder how it had ended up on him Cartman was shaking him again. With another displeased groan he fumbled for his belt buckle. "Alright, alright, I'm awake."

Cartman stepped back and allowed Kyle to sleepily shuffle out of the passenger seat and throw his legs over the side of it to plant his feet on the familiar ground of Cartman's driveway. Kyle stood up slowly, and once upright yawned loudly and stretched his arms up above his head, arching his back so that his t-shirt rode up. Cartman took that opportunity to tickle Kyle's exposed stomach.

"Hey!" Kyle cried indignantly, slapping his hand away, "Quit it!"

Cartman laughed, not at all intimidated by the furrow of Kyle's brow or the firmness of his frown. He closed the door behind Kyle and locked the truck as he held out Kyle's bag to him, "Here you go, Jew."

"Thanks." said Kyle, taking his bag with one hand and rubbing his eye with the other. He looked around them at the neighbourhood they had grown up in. It was aglow with the remaining rays of the setting sun, and save for a few playing children the streets were empty as everybody had decided to call it a day and say goodbye to the rare combination of heat and sunshine.

"You want to come to mine for dinner?" asked Cartman, "We're having tacos." As tantalising as that offer was, for Kyle loved Liane Cartman's cooking, he couldn't upset his own mother that way.

"Nah." he replied with a shake of his head, "Thanks though."

Cartman nodded understandingly. "Will I see you later?"

"Probably not. I'm feeling pretty tired." As if to prove it, Kyle yawned once more.

"Alright." Cartman chuckled, "I'll see you tomorrow then." He stepped forward and leant down, tilting Kyle's chin up to meet his lips in a chaste farewell kiss. Kyle returned it with as much vigour as he could muster in his weary state, which wasn't much at all, but Cartman seemed satisfied with it anyway if his soft smile was anything to go by once they'd parted. "Goodnight, Jew."

Kyle smiled back tiredly. "Goodnight." His heart fluttered as Cartman couldn't seem to resist leaning in once more to press one last kiss to his cheek, but then he was gone. Kyle watched Cartman retreat to his house, feeling a tiny bit sad to see him go. But he optimistically remembered that he had spent a whole day with him, and that he would see him tomorrow, so felt happier as he turned and walked away, across the grass, past the home of his super best friend to his own situated beside it.

As Kyle told his family about his day over dinner, did some homework, took a shower, got ready for the night and then finally collapsed into bed, the whole time he couldn't help thinking, with a faint smile, that perhaps waterparks weren't so bad after all.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**Hey, guess who watched S13E14 'Pee' recently! That episode, combined with my need to write about Cartman and Kyle out on a cute date, inspired this story to be written. Again, I'm not sure it's marvellously in-character, but as user BlondeTiger told me: when writing so seriously for South Park, nobody is going to be 100% accurate with the characters, since they are all born of an incredibly stupid, insane, absurd, silly show. That's a comforting thought for all who write for this show, is it not?  
Also, hooray, I managed to publish this just a week after my first story - happy one week anniversary to me! *Blows out candle* Thank you for reading this story - I appreciate you taking time out of your day (that could be spent reading far better stories) to do so. I feel genuinely honoured that you so much as read the synopsis and decided it sounded alright. If you actually liked it, even just the tiniest bit, then I feel all the more happier!**

**Disclaimer: South Park does not belong to me, but to its creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone. The lyrics to _Singin' in the Rain_ do not belong to me either, but to Arthur Freed.**


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